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Haroth mask: Broken Lord of the North

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For :iconaivomata:Aivomata and her Haroth contest:



The story of the Broken Lords mask goes a little something like this.

There was once a small Haroth clan far to the chilled and bitter north  nestled between the rocky shores and steep cliff sides. These hardy Clansmen were ruled by two elder chiefs, a husband and wife. Soon one by one whole families started to fall ill to a mysterious illness and dying, even the head chieftains wife succumbed to the illness and passed away.  The chieftains daughter who was an experienced alchemist and herbalist sought diligently to find the cause of the illness, only to find that her father and a few of his closest subordinates had systematically poisoned most all of their own kinsmen all for the sake of a dark arcane cult, believing that they were "Keeping the sacred purity and strength of our people".
Blinded by fury at her father's betrayal the young alchemist traveled by night to each of her father subordinates homes and set them ablaze killing any and all inside. She then met with her father inside of their families longhouse, he was adorned with his ceremonial armor, headdress, mask and spear in hand. He spoke with his daughter in a vain attempt to sway  her into believing that his cause was just, but his words fell on deaf ears. The two then entwined in battle. in the end the furious whirlwind of strikes with his spear were no match to the precise elegance and speed of his daughter with a Dirk as she drove the blade deep from below his jaw and into skull, however her fathers strikes were not in vain as a  blow from the shaft of the spear struck and irreparably damaged her own clan mask, shattering it. As she stood over her father's corpse and stripped him of their families ceremonial armor, she then also took her mother's heirloom jewelry and fled away from the village leaving her home and her father's body within consumed in a blaze of fire. In her new found solitude she then began to forge a new mask for herself out of what was left of their family's armor and her mother's gold. She then named her new mask "The Broken Lord of the North" after the shame of her father's betrayal and for the sequential death of both her parents and her kinsman.
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Comments11
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sevenofeleven's avatar
Looks great.

One little tip, your story is kinda hard to read, its like a wall of text.
If you break up the paragraphs and add a blank line between them, it will be much easier to read.
Apologies if this is offensive.

Example:

There was once a small Haroth clan far to the chilled and bitter north  nestled between the rocky shores and steep cliff sides. These hardy Clansmen were ruled by two elder chiefs, a husband and wife. Soon one by one whole families started to fall ill to a mysterious illness and dying, even the head chieftain's wife succumbed to the illness and passed away.  The chieftain's daughter who was an experienced alchemist and herbalist sought diligently to find the cause of the illness, only to find that her father and a few of his closest subordinates had systematically poisoned most all of their own kinsmen all for the sake of a dark arcane cult, believing that they were "Keeping the sacred purity and strength of our people."

Blinded by fury at her father's betrayal, the young alchemist traveled by night to each of her father subordinates homes, and set them ablaze killing any and all inside. She then met with her father inside of their family's longhouse, he was adorned with his ceremonial armor, headdress, mask and spear in hand. He spoke with his daughter in a vain attempt to sway  her into believing that his cause was just, but his words fell on deaf ears.

The two then entwined in battle. In the end, the furious whirlwind of strikes with his spear were no match to the precise elegance and speed of his daughter with a Dirk as she drove the blade deep from below his jaw and into skull, however her father's strikes were not in vain as a  blow from the shaft of the spear struck and irreparably damaged her own clan mask, shattering it.

As she stood over her father's corpse and stripped him of their family's ceremonial armor, she then also took her mother's heirloom jewelry and fled from the village leaving her home and her father's body within consumed in a blaze of fire. In her new found solitude she then began to forge a new mask for herself out of what was left of their family's armor and her mother's gold. She then named her new mask "The Broken Lord of the North" after the shame of her father's betrayal and for the sequential death of both her parents and her kinsman.